Friday, October 22, 2010
So much has changed.
I just feel defenseless to stop it. I feel like I am standing still as everyone races past me, knowing where they are going and what they are doing. I don't. I'm stuck. I don't feel like the fish that is trying to go the wrong way up the river, I feel like the fish whose tail got stuck under the rock and all her friends kept on going and didn't even notice. I'm not saying that my friends don't care, what I am saying however is that it looks like they have it all together. That they know what they want out of life, and they are on their way to getting it. I remember being a little kid, I always knew what I wanted to be, knew how simple it was going to be. They lie to you as kids, they sugar-coat life, tell you how amazing it is, and from then on out you can't wait to grow up. I was one of those kids, I wanted to be a grown-up more than anything else. Now, I wish I could go back, I wish my only worry in life was whether or not I was "it" in tag, or if I could find another spot in the next game of hide-n-seek. I miss that. I miss all of it. I wish I had took the time to burn those memories into my mind. Most of them have depleted. Just been forgotten. I didn't think they would be that important. Boy, was I wrong. So here I am today, the person who didn't realize that friendship was important until her Junior year in high school. The person who feels alone at every corner. The sad thing is, I have no one to blame but myself.
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Despite the depressing air of your post, I like it and totally agree.
ReplyDeleteYou're not the only one and I'm sure you know that; I think we all misinterpreted our younger lives, unable to recognize what we had.
But, hey, I learned something, yo. A lot of the people that appear to "have it together" are the ones in the worst shape.
But good literary imagery and I hope things start lookin' up.
Wow, D you have people in life that care about you, let them take a part of the burden off your shoulders and make your life easier and more bearable. Honestly not everyone has their life together, and like stated above, people that seem like they do are the ones that don't. You can't look at everyone else and try to take a hold of your life, you have to look at yourself and what you already have. I know for a fact that what ever you choose to do you will always do your best and make the people around you smile. Until then have fun and make those memories you so crave from your child hood, because as someone once said, its not good to dwell on the past and look at it with regret. Its good to look at the future and take in as much of life as you can. I know you made my life more colorful and fun, even if you were a kid that was out,I always knew that you would be someone to look up to and someone I would always be able to talk to, through thin and thick. Now that I look back at my life, especially high school I honestly don't know if I would have had as much fun if it wasn't for you. Thank you. And remember even if its hard look at the bright side. Behind every cloud there is a silver lining.
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